Who got what they wanted for Christmas?

So you now have only a handful of hours to finish up this year, depending on when you are reading this. What were the things that you said you’d do this year? Well did you do them, hmmmm? If not then you had better get on the ball, Jip Jap Jip. But don’t give up hope. You have plenty of time to run that marathon, to whittle that bird house from that fallen tree limb, to quit smoking. But you should probably start running right now if you still wanna get somewhere tonight to watch Carson Daily be a complete tool on national tv and then kiss someone after the ball drops.

Oh, a baby.

What’s in the boxxxxx?

I completed the only goal I made for myself this year; to cheat death. And I resolve to do the same next year. If you are not so inclined to resolve your resolutions this year, in a few hours you’ll have yet another clean slate to start over on. Maybe set some reasonable goals for 2014 like; dressing yourself at least once a week, or brushing your teeth a few times.

Now stepping off my generic brand soapbox I thought it would be fun to give you my year-end review, and I shall title it “2013 as told by a person who really didn’t pay too much attention.” Ere’ goes.

2013, what a time to be alive. Let’s take a trip down memory lane after exiting the poorly recollected highway. What happened on the political scene you may be asking, well, this country elected our first African-American President and people were told that they may or may not be able to own guns, wasn’t really paying attention once again. I did hear on the radio that more people sign an online something-or-other wanting to have a Death Star built than signed up for ObamaCare through the government website. That is as political as I get.

A rather tall gentleman with a huge underbite won 37 gold medals at the Olympics and proved that America should never be messed with in the lap pool.

A little movie called Avatar was number one at the box office receiving more than 827 billion dollars internationally.

On the techmology front a couple of things were noteworthy milestones. A young go getter named Al Gore invented a little something called the world-wide interweb. And riding on that guy’s wave of glory an even younger man went off and created something to actually allow society to waste trillions and trillions of hours  away on called the Facebook. If you haven’t heard of it yet give it a while, my gut is saying it might catch on. Nasa also put a man on the moon, so good for them.

And now we should take a moment of silence (so stop reading aloud) and remember those who have gone on to the great beyound and traversed the river Styx. Macho Man Randy Savage, Pauly Shore, Flava Flav’s brother Randall Flav, Bill Paxton, the “Where’s the Beef” lady, that dog from Fraiser, and that fast talking guy from the Micro Machine commercials. They are all gone but not forgotten, especially what’s his face, you know…the guy with the wonky eye.

But for every dozen or so people who died this year there was new life that was ushered into this world. Two beautiful things came kicking and screaming into existence covered in a delicious raspberry jelly like goop; PershingEmpire.com and young Milo Gutweiler. The circle of life has come full cycle.

And that has been my official re-cap “o” the year. We here, from the Pershing Empire, are quite grateful that you have decided to spend the last part of 2013 with us and cordially invite you to see what kind of shennaniganeries we can get ourselves into throughout 2014.

Auld Lang Syne, vis-á-vis, concordantly

2013 comic count: 37

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